The Year 2060

By on April 19, 2021

The Year 2060 is such a crazy year, it really is. Anyone lucky enough to be around now will tell an extremely frightening and almost impossible-to-believe story to their children. Having survived and outlived the Global Pandemic of the 2020s that ravaged the world, turned economics upside down, and ripped into the socio-economic fabric of the world, everyone over 40 is a hero of some sort – just for surviving to such an age.

It is January of 2060 and Jesus has not yet returned. A good section of Christians around the world are starting to get uneasy. Some Christians are even throwing around ridiculous ideas that the entire Christian faith be disbanded because what the hell is Jesus waiting for to return? In September of last year, 2059, a section of Catholics from Argentina filed a lawsuit against the Holy Roman Catholic Church for failing to explain why the Son of God has not yet come back. Christians around the world are divided on this subject with some claiming Jesus already came back but found life on earth was so awesome he decided to stay. The other lot of Christians are just adamant that the guy will never come and demand Christianity be disbanded.

The Catholic Pope John Baptist Nyadeng who is a towering Dinka from South Sudan is a no-nonsense man. He has expelled 12 cardinals from the Catholic Church for entertaining the school of thought that Jesus might actually not come back. And a strongly worded document has been circulated in Catholic circles to the effect that anyone questioning the return of Jesus shall be excommunicated with immediate effect and burned at the stake.

Islam as a religion has made some changes too, radical ones at that. Women are now allowed to marry more than one husband and unsurprisingly, the religion has seen a surge in numbers. For every 10 people you meet, 5 are Muslim. Mecca is now the second most visited place in the world after Washington DC – the Capital of the failed nation of the U.S. That’s right – the United States of America became a failed state in 2035 when an uprising between Blacks and Whites took a turn for the worst. Now, there is a standoff between both races and the entire world has looked on in shock and disbelief as the once greatest nation on earth grapples with a racial war that has since graduated from protests and riots to a full fledged civil unrest – 39 Million Americans have so far lost their lives in this unrest.

Peace-keeping troops have been sent in from all over the world to try and restore sanity in the United States but so far, most of the troops have resorted to plundering and pillaging the United States’ resources. The Statue of Liberty was shipped off to China for safe-keeping and some of the United States’ weaponry was taken to Nigeria, Russia, Lithuania, and Rwanda. Mount Rushmore was put to the ground by Afghan troops who, together with Syrian Troops now occupy the entire Black Hills region of South Dakota. Times Square is now occupied by Somali Troops who patrol its borders and the White House is home to Polly, the world’s wealthiest cat.

The United States of America albeit on its way to full collapse has enjoyed support from the Republic of Uganda, the head of the UN Security Council, and currently the wealthiest nation in the world. The not-so-large country of Uganda has grown in leaps and bounds over the decades, owing to a change in governance, a total clean-up of its affairs, and its production of Oil. At the moment, the Ugandan President who is also an active and ardent member of the LGBTI community has brought order to the country and has been able to establish Uganda as a Continental powerhouse and Global force to reckon with. For 15 years now, Uganda has enjoyed unrivaled and permanent leadership of the UN Security Council which has since become tougher and more iron-handed in its operations. 

The Social Fabric of the world is really just something else in 2060. Globally, there have been a total of nearly 693,438,922 people who’ve undergone sex-change over the past few years. Due to breakthroughs in science, both men and women are now able to give birth and many men have found themselves having to embrace hitherto shunned things like contraception/birth control and abortion. The Catholic Church was fundamental in the drive to legalize abortion and encourage contraception around the world owing to the number of Catholic Priests who became pregnant. 

There have been issues in various workplaces where men pose as women to enjoy specific benefits and vise versa and so it has now become mandatory that before joining an institution, one has to declare which sex they intend on being for the foreseeable future. And obviously many people are up in arms claiming that it infringes on people’s rights of privacy and their ability to change to whatever sex they want. It is really a mess when it comes to sexual orientation.

Two years ago, in 2058, Elon Musk, the leader of the Moon Nation was pronounced dead and his body preserved. Rumours have been going around that the Universe’s wealthiest man was hit by a wad of cash thrown at him by one of his sons during an altercation. The details of the altercation are still scanty but rumour has it that Elon had promised his son a planet for his birthday but failed to find one and had a wad of Chinese Renminbi thrown at him. The wad is said to have hit his head, caused a concussion, and slowly led to Elon’s death. At the time of his death, Elon was the 34th richest entity in the world having been overtaken by 5 Ugandans, 2 Rwandans, 3 Chinese, 8 Nigerians, 4 Mexicans and 11 Cats. Cats have recently joined the ranks of wealthiest entities after the 2035 Cat Revolution where wealthy people bequeathed all their property and wealth to cats; the wealthiest of them all being Polly who occupies the White House.

Aliens are now a recognized race living in our midst and a good number of them have intermarried with humans. The resulting offspring of such intermarriages are now known as Humaliens and they have abilities like longevity, mind reading, and orgasming at will. 

The year 2060 is such a crazy year, it really is.

“The future is there… looking back at us. Trying to make sense of the fiction we will have become.” ― William Gibson, Pattern Recognition

Bernard Ewalu Olupot
a.k.a Beewol
The Talkative Rocker
Follow @beewol on Twitter, @beewol on Instagram, and Beewol on Facebook 

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