Stacking Dominoes

By on September 15, 2015

His fingers moved. Slowly creeping to pick up the phone. That much dreaded phone. Anticipating disaster, his ego kicked in “She won’t pick up you dummy…there’s a reason she has your number blocked. Stupid bastard

His ego has never been kind to him, constantly telling him the dominoes are stacked against him in anything he has ever or will ever attempt. As always, his heart is having none of that shit. Slowly but surely he starts to dial the number, stops, and decides to scroll through his call log. Hoping in his heart of hearts that he has forgotten the number engraved on his heart, much to his brain’s disgust.

The fingers follow the heart and dial on, the brain and ego fight, never wanting nor willing to accept that all is lost. They are here to ensure this stupid guy doesn’t lose too much face- not that he hasn’t yet already. But even an inch of face-saving will do. Scrolling through his phone, he comes across the digits. Double taps and starts to pray. He knows what she said. But hopes she didn’t mean it this time. The anticipation of the ringtone is only marched by the dread of hearing “ Sorry, the number you have called is busy. Please try again later

This is what has been giving him hope. Those last four words. Never mind that they are an automated response from the service provider, they still offer a vague kind of hope. The three second delay as the relevant connections are made seems like an eternity. Slowly but steadily he starts to hear his brain screaming at him “Don’t be stupid boy, stop while you are still ahead” His Ego drops the bomb.

The thing he has been trying hard not to bring to the fore-front of his love-poisoned brain. The one thing that has kept him sane. The one intentionally ignored nudging that the multiple phone-calls have revealed.

Ma mehn, you is a stalker now.” says the Ego, in that sarcastic condescending tone that only ones’ Ego can muster

“You is one of em stalkers boy! You is proper fucked! You my dear doe-eyed, love-struck, rejected left-over blocked bustard are a certified stalker” Like I said, his Ego has never been kind.

Dialing…!

Hello…

Unstacking Dominoes

He has been trying to call me. Again. It always took all the resolve I had to ignore his phone-calls and an almost suicide-level decision to finally block his number. Things with us were complicated; extremely so. But that isn’t something new either. We were always like that moth flying through the candle flame. Transfixed by what we had, yet clearly aware of the danger it placed on us.

I had been the one who dumped him the first time. It felt relieving! I caught him in a lie and Danny from The Dive ( my local kafunda) had some really nice things to say to me. (And we all know how much a girl loves compliments) It felt great to have someone with not so many complications – at least that I know of - saying nice things to me. A few days after, he called me (Not Danny), I picked up and we went on- business as usual. Knowing the kind of guy he is, I didn’t bother bringing up the lie; nor did he. And that was that.

My phone has bleeped: again. It shows that I have received a call from a blocked number. For the thirtieth time in less than an hour! That a-hole is becoming a stalker. I pick up the phone and flip through my whatsapp messages. It’s annoying that even at this stage, my heart still does a flip every time I scroll past his messages. Messages begging me to reconsider. I wonder why I haven’t deleted them yet. I navigate to his profile photo and find myself hypnotized by it.

That sly-shy smile. The smile that melted my heart the first time he was vulnerable to me. At the top of a hill, showing me city-lights. These were to later become our thing. Him – always looking out for new and better views; me – the excited tourist constantly blown away by how far he would travel out of town just to get a better city-lights view to show me.

Those rough, yet gentle hands. Always an oxymoron to me; how could a guy look so frail, yet never fail to catch and carry me when I slipped? literally and figuratively. And those hands; traveling all over my body, finding spots so hidden even I never knew they existed. Those arms; pinning me against our full length mirror while making passionate love to me, sometimes attacking me, sometimes taking me… taking out time to pose and admire my cute butt and resuming with the thrust of a maddened Mexican bull. Those hands; scanning the horizon of my tender breasts, finding the peaks and giving them a squeeze. Ecstasy.

I need to stop thinking about history!

Being a duche never stopped him from being the sweetest guy I knew (Another Oxymoron, I know). He always knew what to say to me when I was mad and never had a doubt about how awesome my brain is. It seemed to me that his joy came out of making me laugh. He would spell out to me – with such clarity and confidence that only dreamers posses - where he saw my career going and how soon it would get there.

If ever I doubted something, all I needed to do was give him a call and he’d say the nicest bullshit that would somehow get me believing that I can burn the sun! Shit, why did he have to be so nice! The damn phone is bleeping again, doesn’t he get the point? All we are left with are accidental meetings in neutral places. And even then, no conversation, lest he weasels himself back into my life…

Stacking Dominoes

Yeeesss….ahm, ahhhh…

Helloooo???”

“ Yes, ahem…Hi, this is Nate..”

“ Oh yeah, I have your number dwanzie, whats up Nate, been a second! Nga you can chuck…you know we still haven’t done those drinks you assured me of…and that crazy night without limits…” Wait, this isn’t her voice.

Unstacking Dominoes

It’s been almost 3 minutes and he hasn’t called again… I am afraid of feeling relieved. I know him too well. This can’t be it… But why am I feeling sad that he hasn’t called again. Has he stopped wanting me? Was it really that easy? Fuck the respect shit. I want to be wanted… maybe I should unblock his number for a random thirty minutes, if he calls… maybe we will talk. It’s just talking, that has never hurt anyone. And this time, I’ll be ready.

Stacking Dominoes

Uhmm, Patricia, whats up?”

“ So today is the day, awesssooommeee!!!!” She shrieked

“So, uhm, listen Tricia, can I call you back, something’s come up just now..”

“First wait, and the drinks?”

“Let me call you back…”

“Stalker boy…”  Ego immediately jumped in “you can’t even get her number right- take that as a sign. And Tricia over there is willing to give it… we both know you want it… or are you too scared you won’t be good at it, you little pecker-boy”

“ Look man,” The Brain interjected. Sounding mature and professor-like “you have an opportunity here. Let’s use logic: A miss-dial that can bear fruit versus an automated response from a woman who no longer wants to drink from your poisoned well… its quite obvious if you ask me.”

Nate stared at the phone. Looking but not seeing. A clear conflict that has just played into his hands. He knows he has lost a friend. A beautiful friend. It had never occurred to him how much she meant to him. Spending the last three weeks without access to her beautiful voice had driven him slowly insane. But right this second, Trish wants a piece of him. Why isn’t he pumped? He knows for sure he has no problem sharing a piece of himself with a willing female. Like the early morning alarm, it suddenly dawned on him; things between Martha and him had to be solid in order for him to play the game. And the game must be played.

Pressing the button underneath his LG, he fires the screen back to life and starts taping out his entry code. Noticing an opportunity to push forward project Face-Saving The Ego immediately jumped in.

So…stalker boy,” Ego said “You know, Danny is way much better off than you are. You have seen his ride, no? Also, I doubt he’ll ever make her pay for drinks like you cheap chap

“Dude, the evidence of her importance to you is in your current in-ability to play the game…” The Heart finally spoke up. Cooing out warm fuzzy feelings that sent the brain to sleep. “ …and the game must be played my brother. So sort this shit out and get back onto the field”

This time, being careful that he tapped the right digits, he placed the call. Again…

Three Days Later

Unstacking Dominoes

I saw him today. The first time since the motel. Since he last filled me ( I still shiver at the memory of that sexisode- only compared to the time he blindfolded me) and I last opened myself completely to him. He seems ok. He tried to create conversation with me at the bar counter but I brushed him off. It wasn’t actually that complicated.

And besides, Danny was close by. I haven’t yet told him about Nate, the guy I’ve been in love with for the last three years and counting. Not sure I should, I fear it’ll just bring The Ghost of Exes Past into my present and I want none of that. But still…

I am curious to know how he is doing, he has such a colorful way of describing his latest projects that one can’t help but be awestruck…or maybe it’s just me.

The band played our song… why the hell did they have to? Did he plan it? I wouldn’t put it past him. You see, he once had a restaurant closed early just so he could walk me back to my hostel on campus and not get arrested…. but that’s a story for another day. Anyway, back to the band, why did they have to? As I got out my phone to Shazam the songs’ lyrics… or was it to check out his Facebook account, my phone rang. It was him. Shit!

By Guest Blogger

Eugene Kavuma

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beewol

Baldie. Ailurophile. Social Media Junkie. Blogger. Pluviophile. Fixer. Sober Drunkard.
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