Replacing Suzie

By on June 24, 2016

Not so long ago, I joined the ever growing list of Ugandans who have lost valuable items to city robbers in broad day light. I bumped into a couple of mean looking fellas at Centenary Park and they were clear with their demands – my mobile phone and my wallet. Nothing could dissuade them from their mission of cleaning my pockets dry; not even my muffled threats of belonging to a clan of witches who have wrecked havoc on people since time immemorial.

And just like that, I had to bid farewell to my gorgeous mobile phone and my fairly old leather wallet. Despite its age, the wallet was quite a gem and had cost me an arm and a leg. I had heard that many people accord you respect because of the wallet you carry around therefore I made it a point to save up and get myself one of those fancy original leather wallets. At any one moment, its value was twice or thrice the value of its contents because apart from the ATM cards and ID, there was not much in there except for a few thousand shillings to remind the little piece of leather that it wasn’t worthless after all.


This is what my wallet ‘Mutebile’ looked like (Internet Photo)

The real loss however was Suzie, my gorgeous sexy mobile phone. In this day and age, the loss of a mobile phone can bring life to a standstill. It can create a condition of absolute misery, untold sadness and bizarre instances of withdrawal.

For the past few weeks, I have been on the lookout for a mobile phone that I can call a successor to Suzie. She was a beauty you know. She understood me. Oh by the way, I name nearly everything I own so the naming ceremony for Suzie had happened the day I bought her. The gorgeous dark skinned lady behind the counter was named Suzie and in honour of her wonderful customer care, natural hair, wide inviting eyes and great discounting behaviour, I decided to baptize my phone Suzie.

Now she was gone. These burly thugs had taken my Suzie without even bothering to know whether or not Suzie preferred a new owner.

The other day while I was in town, someone invited me to the launch of a certain mobile phone somewhere on Prism Building which houses Tecno offices. I wasn’t too keen to attend the event because for starters, the only Tecno my life had ever encountered was actually Techno music (which is even spelt differently). However in the email invite was mention of free food and drinks. I reluctantly accepted the invite with the hope that perhaps I would get to see what these Tecno guys offered other than the free food and drinks.


The event was dubbed ‘The launch of the Tecno Camon C9’ and I had been expressly told that the device was quite the beauty. For about an hour or so I was offered one of the little gadgets to mull over. I looked around to see if I could quietly pocket the little thing and slide away unnoticed but the chances of that became slimmer by the minute as I realised there were specific folks throwing glances my way every after a few minutes. They must have been hired to look out for people with intentions like mine.

So I got comfortable and wiped away any hopes of walking away with one of the gadgets.

Quite naturally, I decided to study the much talked about gadget to see if it could replace Suzie or in the very least get onto my list of possible candidates to replace my gorgeous stolen Suzie.

A number of things caught my attention.

The lady at the front kept referring to the Tecno Camon C9 as the ‘Best Selfie Producer’ which struck me as odd because as a selfie freak, I had never heard many people speak of the device. And then I was told it was brand new on the market. So I tried out the selfies myself.

As it turned out, the Tecno Camon C9 did not disappoint. The phone has a 13MP 120 degree panoramic mode that allows for one to take mind blowing selfies with a front camera that is just as good (or even better) than the back camera and even comes with flash light for both back and front. My shinny bald head came out just right and my wide nose and blood-shot eyes were right there – the selfie was raw and real.


The low light capture ability of the Tecno Camon C9 is something that got me thinking that perhaps this was the sort of phone one needs to have if they are fond of sneaking in pictures in low light places like clubs, bars and pubs.

As I studied the little fella, I noticed that it had a dedicated quick-snap button along with auto-focus features that created something of an actual photography session. I did notice a number of the people at the event were taking advantage and snapping away in a noisy and uncoordinated manner the lady at the front must have wondered what sort of villagers she had invited to her event.

But folks did not care much for her – they were enjoying the device.

My old girl Suzie understood me quite well because at any one moment, I had no less than ten apps open. So I was keen to see how this new gadget would handle my heavy activity. Quite evidently, the octa-core 2GB RAM seemed to have been fixed for exactly that purpose – to offer solace to multitasking folks like myself. The Tecno Camon C9 comes equipped with the HIOS V 1.0 operating system based on Android 6.0.

Decent stuff.

The lady who was pouring out information about features and whatnot made mention of something she kept referring to as a T-Band. At first I wondered what music band she was referring to and then she displayed some strange accessory that was supposed to communicate with the Tecno Camon C9 and carry out several extra features like taking pictures from a distance, monitoring sleep patterns, alerting the phone owner when the phone rings and even alerting them in case their phone somewhat went missing.

When I probed and asked further, it was disappointing to learn that if I left the phone in the taxi the T-Band would not be of much use as it would probably be out of physical distance from the accessory but I was still fascinated by the little accessory. I would probably purchase the Tecno Camon C9 minus the T-Band seeing as 9 out of 10 times I would most likely be with my phone in my hands or in my pockets so there would be no need for the T-Band. Nonetheless, it was nice to know that the makers of the Tecno Camon C9 were aware that one can get frustrated having forgotten their phone under the pillow, in the office desk or in the bathroom.

Let no one pretend that they never go to the bathroom with their phones.

With 16 GB ROM, 2 GB RAM and an expandable MicroSD of up to 128 GB one would be sure that their prized collection of nudes and sex tapes from across the Ugandan Whatsapp space would be safely tucked away under key and lock only accessible via the hi-tech biometric iris recognition feature of the Tecno Camon C9.


The Tecno Camon C9 will go for anything between Ugx 546,000 and Ugx 560,000. (Photo source – Dignited)

Cool stuff my friend, very cool stuff.

The Tecno Camon C9 is really the first Tecno phone I have ever paid attention to and it might not be the immediate replacement for my gorgeous Suzie but it sure does make it onto the list of potential candidates – for now.

a.k.a Beewol
The Talkative Rocker
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