Noisy Crusaders

By on May 16, 2016
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I recently moved into this really fabulous place in Kiwatule where I think I will stay for the foreseeable future. It is pretty cool, decent and very well tended. Even the neighbours are cool people who, when backing out of the drive way, will not hesitate to roll down their windows to say hello or even offer you a lift to town.

There is a wonderful lady just across the road named Mega. This lady prepares the most finger licking dishes and she sells them at practically give-away prices. Not so far from where she is are several shops with basically everything one could ever need from foodstuffs to toiletries and electronics.

And just nearby is an awesome supermarket owned by a Muslim which means there is no alcohol on sale but just around the corner is an actual liquor depot.

It is a dream neighbourhood and it is the place one would love to live.

This has been the status quo until recently when the Lord decided to raid the place in form of a crusade.

I like to think I am a church goer like any other Christian. I might not be a regular at overnights or at choir practice but I try to stay sober through Sunday morning so I can go to Church to say hello to the big guy.

A certain bunch of overzealous Christians in my neighbourhood decided to organize an overnight crusade not far from where I live. Quite naturally when I got home I thought it would last no longer than a few hours therefore I had nothing to worry about seeing as I too would be engrossed in ‘1000 Ways To Die’ on DSTV’s Channel 128. There is very little attention you can pay anything and anyone else when you are watching this show.

So when the show ended I realized the fellas were still going at it at the crusade outside. I stepped out into the balcony and the full strength of the Lord’s musical choir hit me in the face. There must have been a guy exorcising demons and there seemed to be a woman giving child birth live on stage. The noise was simply too much.

I am a lover of music so I try as much as possible to pay a keen ear to whatever music I hear. The music these guys were playing was far from appealing. The person with the microphone kept shouting words that the congregation was supposed to respond to in similar or higher decibels.

Seeing as I live slightly outside Kampala, I figured calling KCCA and placing a noise pollution complaint might not do much so I opted to wait out the crusade. Waiting out an overnight is not the easiest job especially when the congregation is keen to see out the entire overnight session. One of posters said the overnight would last until 7:00 am which was several hours away.

I paced about in the balcony hoping that somehow the Lord would see me and feel sorry then sweep down in one awesome motion and open the skies for the rain to fall.

It never rained.

And from the look of things, the Lord was probably telling me to suck it up and either join the guys at the Crusade or shut up and bear with the noise.

For the first half hour, I thought I would opt for the latter so I stayed home and turned the volume on my TV set higher. Flipping channels can be quite fun especially when you are looking for anything noisy to counter what is coming from outside. However, after a while you realize that you are only fooling yourself. Your attempts are akin to a little boy injuring himself so that he can worry his mother – absolute waste of time.

So I drifted out of that school of thought and decided to go out and join these folks. Who knows, maybe I would accidentally trip over one of the sound cables and the speakers would fail or I would talk one of the sound engineers into lowering the volume.

I dressed up and went out to see what I could do to get a good night’s sleep. When I got to the crusade I noticed that people were so engrossed in the proceedings on stage that no one could notice the guy in the hooded jumper with the picture of a Guitar and Skulls across the front.

I slid into the crowd, at the back, hoping to listen in for a few minutes and try to understand why such a tiny crowd was generating so much noise.

As it turned out, the lady who seemed to have been giving birth was actually just the choir leader. She belted out her vocals with little regard for how much damage she was doing to the sound systems and to people’s ears. The guy on the other hand (the one who seemed to have been exorcising demons) was actually really exorcising demons – at least that is what it appeared. One or two people were rolling on stage and a few others in the congregation were losing their minds and dashing about like cats high on catnip.

After realizing that I was not going to talk anyone into lowering their volumes I decided to just stick around and watch proceedings while glancing back and forth at my watch. About an hour later, I went back to my place and decided I would just slide into bed, open my bible and follow the preaching from the safe confines of my bed. No crime in listening to the unsolicited word of God from within your house.

Somewhere in the middle of a thanksgiving song I must have dozed off. When I woke up at about 6:30am it seems even the strongest of overnight enthusiasts had thrown in the towel because there was not much sound save for the occasional early rising folks rushing to beat the early morning traffic.

As a Christian, I was probably guilt tripped into letting the crusaders do their thing but I wonder how another person would have dealt with it. Since the neighbourhood does not often have crusades, I will assume that this was a one-off and therefore it will not happen any time soon.

In the event that it happens again, there might be a few demons being exorcised from me as well.

“No man should live where he can hear his neighbor’s dog bark.” ― Nathaniel Macon

a.k.a Beewol
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