Bloody Horoscopes!

By on September 11, 2017

I have never considered myself to be a believer in astrology or horoscopes for that matter. I have totally failed to understand how the moon, sun, planets and other astrological features can determine how one’s life will turn out. Apparently the nature of the alignment of these features during the time of one’s birth will determine how their life plays out.

Absolute rubbish!

In fact, on a number of occasions I have vehemently thrown tantrums protesting this wildly ridiculous idea that an astrological sign is somehow supposed to govern my behaviour or predetermine the way my day will unfold. This concept that when you wake up in the morning, there is already an array of events that should happen and culminate in an already established result. Such lies!

When I’m reading the newspaper and I land on the page of Leisure (New Vision) or Coffee Break (Daily Monitor) I usually just fill in the Crossword Puzzle, glance at the comic strips, waste a few moments on the Sudoku Puzzle and then move on. I have no time for astrological madness. I might hang around to see how horrible I performed on the previous day’s puzzle but after that, I dash off!

Nonetheless, as a person who loves well constructed and persuasive sentences, I occasionally find myself reading my star (Taurus). I might spend a few seconds reading this little bit and then might even proceed to read other stars. And then I smile at how these guys who do the Horoscope can actually talk about me without talking about me. These thugs! They are captivating enough to make you think they are talking about you while equally being vague enough so you can fill in the missing and relevant pieces based on what is happening in your own life. And whether or not you like it, there will be some relevance to your life – somehow.

“Someone will make you angry today and you will react in an usual manner ”

What the hell! Of course someone will make me angry. This is bound to happen even if I decided to stay home in Kiwatule, lock the doors, turn off my Cell and just sleep all day. Someone will knock at the door asking to come and watch a program on E or some such stuff. And even if I traveled to the ends of the earth where no one exists, I am pretty certain someone will find a way to piss me off. So really, what gives?

“Today you will talk to an old friend and the conversation will be warm and nostalgic”

What is this? Guess work central? This is 2017 and naturally, Social Media is filled with so many old friends who will volunteer conversation all day everyday! And of course people from your past tend to bring with them truck loads of sentiment shrouded in what we call NOSTALGIA. Why then should these folks pretend that they actually know what will happen?

Why do people still believe in this rubbish anyway? I mean astrologers, witches and all their relatives must earn money, that is fine. But must they earn their money at the expense of people’s hopes and dreams?

A fully grown human wakes up in the morning and his go-to activity is checking the Horoscope to ascertain whether or not he will have a good day. And after doing that, he consciously walks out of his house and acts like an idiot because the horoscope says “Today your aggression will come to the surface.”

Why should you wait for some unemployed person with good writing skills to determine your fate in stead of stepping out of bed and deciding on what kind of day you want to have?

I am a believer in God but even I know that God is not a fool to let you just heap responsibility on him without taking charge of your own life. One has to till the ground to get food. Just because the Horoscope says you will eat to your fill does not mean someone will volunteer a plateful of Chicken Wings. You might end up eating your own soul!

Don’t even get me started on the inconsistency! One horoscope says one thing, another says another thing. What is a human being supposed to follow? Is there some kind of Horoscope Agency of Witches, Mad people and Astrologers dishing out predictions for each horoscope publisher?

“Dear Astrologers, today, the forecast is doom with a slight hint of apathy and sadness. Sprinkle a bit of confusion all over it and lace it with enough uncertainty”

Bloody Horoscopes!

“An admirable evasion of whoremaster man, to lay his goatish disposition on the charge of a star!”  ― William Shakespeare, King Lear

a.k.a Beewol
The Talkative Rocker
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Beewol - The Talkative Rocker