And so it begins

By on November 9, 2015

There is quite a lot to catch up on if you have taken your eyes and ears off Uganda in the recent past. If you have been locked away in a jail cell with no access to news and information you are likely to be in the dark about goings-on.

Just to bring you up to speed, I’ll have you know that the rains are massively torrential; Ne-Yo almost drowned a few days back. Our boys the Cranes are set to play a pair of games against Togo having freshly learnt that we moved up to 68th in World FIFA Rankings. Senior Six final examinations commence today across the country and the police has warned people not to interrupt with the young people’s future. At the same time preparations for the Pope’s visit are in high gear and the Kyabazinga of Busoga, William Wilberforce Nadiope Gabula IV is among 2000 students slated to graduate from Coventry University in United Kingdom. It is also rumoured that the cost of electricity is set to go down and Parliament has been recalled from recess to consider the Public Finance Management Bill 2015.

Basically a lot is happening.

Despite and amidst all this news, it is unlikely you missed to hear that the presidential campaigns start today. It’s been all over the news so much that a 6-year-old neighbour’s son recently asked if I am going Forward or if I am of the defiant party.

According to the roadmap released by the Electoral Commission, Presidential campaigns are supposed to officially kick off today November 9th 2015 – which means that from today people will stop asking what football team you support, what beer you take or what kind of women you are into. People will now be asking what your favourite colour is or what your hand signal is. Few will ask what your views on feminism or child labour are, or what you think of the economy.

From now onwards it is all about the campaigns.

Before we can even delve deep into the mechanics of the campaigns, it is important to note that over the period of the campaigns, alliances will be forged, friendships sacrificed, jobs lost, marriages ended, bank accounts drained, witchdoctors consulted, families broken up and all stops pulled out. Campaigns are never a joking subject even though a good number of comedians will be cashing in quite handsomely.

According to the road map provided by the electoral commission, the big man Mr 1986 who is the flag bearer of NRM and is hoping to secure a fifth term, begins his campaign somewhere in Luweero. The significance is that it is where he and his close buddies started the bush war that gifted them power three decades ago. There are probably fewer bushes in Luwero today but the symbolism is not lost on anyone.

FDC’s Dr. Kizza Besigye who has run and been beaten three times in the past is hoping to finally find the missing piece in the puzzle that is his election bid. Having previously said he would not take part in a sham election, he finds himself invited to a table set by the sham election. And he finds himself having to face the same nemesis from last time – Mr. 1986. KB begins his campaign back at home in Rukungiri where crowds will probably not hurl insults and throw stones at their own son or ignore him. It is likely however that instead of listening to him speak, they will probably be lost in conversation about how he grew up as a son of the land and how he is the best thing to happen to Rukungiri.

He is going to make them proud.

The TDA Go Forward Alliance’s representative John Patrick Amama Mbabazi, a former NRM stalwart himself is keen to bite the hand that fed him for several decades because from the look of things the hand was never washed the whole time it fed him. He is tired of the unwashed hand. JPAM has the support of six opposition parties (DP, UPC, Justice Forum, UFA, SDP, and PPP) and will begin his campaigns in Masaka, one of the oldest districts in Uganda. JPAM’s has the sort of backing from opposition parties that a guy has when he is wooing a girl. He makes sure that all his wealthy and brilliant friends are hanging with him when he goes out to woo the girl. If the girl does not like him, at least she will like the fact that he associates himself with wealthy and good locking blokes. If you miss the ball, the leg must never be missed.

It is still unclear what Prof. Venansius Baryamureeba’s plan is but from what I gather, he is supposed to start his campaigns in Kayunga town. However, if his facebook page is anything to go by, it is safe to say that his campaigns are off until further notice. This academician whose name is as long as his shot at presidency is not too happy that the EC is not providing him with a government vehicle with a VIP Driver and Bodyguard to accompany him on his trail. So he is throwing a mini-tantrum.

Election campaign regular Dr Abed Bwanika is set to start his struggle in Kamuli town; somewhere in Eastern Uganda. He hopes to defeat all the odds and emerge victorious dispite two previous losses at the hands of the incumbent Mr. 1986. Dr. Abed Bwanika has three awesome children who have the most fabulous names; Wise, Chosen and Delight. He hopes to impress upon Ugandans his wisdom thus convince them to choose him and benefit with profound delight.

On the other hand, the independent Coalition’s candidate Eng. Joseph Mabirizi is set to have a joint arrangement with Mauren Faith Kyalya in Iganga town. This is not the proverbial marriage seeing as they are male and female but more like a pooling together of resources to enjoy economies of scale. The two are hoping to put their heads together and garner larger audiences. The people of Iganga are known as receptive and hospitable people so one can hope that these two will receive a fairly warm welcome.

Important to Note

It is very likely that some presidential aspirants will have ridiculous proposals for when they become president, some will promise heaven on earth while others will stick to the basics of wooing voters with cheap alcohol, a few drops of kerosene and overstayed salt. Whatever happens, voters need to know that this election period might very well be a time that will divide Ugandans based on political ideology but it can also be a time to unite Ugandans under the common umbrella of searching for a worthwhile president.

Whether Mr. 1986 is given another term, KB finally gets a bite at the cherry, JPAM trounces his haters in the NRM, Dr. Bwanika silences his critics, Prof. Venansius Baryamureeba finally gets his campaign underway and eventually takes the day or the duo of Eng. Joseph Mabirizi and Mauren Faith Kyalya show everyone how it is done, there is reason to believe that these campaigns will not be short of drama.

Brace yourselves ladies and gentlemen, the campaigns have officially started!

“Elections belong to the people. It’s their decision. If they decide to turn their back on the fire and burn their behinds, then they will just have to sit on their blisters.” ― Abraham Lincoln

Bernard
a.k.a Beewol
The Talkative Rocker
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Baldie. Ailurophile. Social Media Junkie. Blogger. Pluviophile. Fixer. Sober Drunkard.
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