A Date With Myself

By on November 13, 2017

When you go out on a date with other people, you often want to pull out all the stops. A borrowed shirt here, a rented car there, a stolen accent over there and a strangely expensive cologne worn. Basically, you want to stop at nothing to impress the other person. Sometimes it works and you end up blowing them off their feet partly because of all the effort you have put in but also because they too have put in an effort. If you are a guy going on a date with a female, you might not be too interested in knowing this but she too will have gone to the ends of the earth to impress. A few borrowed things here and there and perhaps a freshly imported accent – just for the date.

Quite naturally, the point here is to impress the other person so much they forget you are only human and actually have flaws. For instance you may be the sort of person who farts uncontrollably after taking in a bit of beef. Or you might be the kind who picks their nose, stares at people or simply is a poor time keeper.

Imagine a situation where the person you had to impress was you. That’s right, yourself! Imagine you were out on a date with yourself and you attempted to just sit with yourself for a proper 2 or 3 hour date eating, drinking, talking and just wasting away the minutes.

Well, I did something of the sort this weekend. I have been meaning to do it for a while now but I had never really come round to actually doing it.

As a dude who isn’t very big on dates, I had to psych myself for this one for several weeks. I would set a date, mark it on my calendar and then grow cold feet when the day approached. This kept happening for a while until I decided to man up and get it done. I was told that real men don’t fear dates, real men live for dates. Well, I suppose I didn’t think myself a real man prior to this one.

Anyway, for starters, before going for a date, one has to pick out a good outfit. Then there is the little matter of scouting the perfect location – usually days before the date. Just to make sure it will be perfect for the sort of date you are hoping to have. After scouting around for an entire week, I picked a spot that was pretty comfortable and open, just so that I didn’t try anything funny with myself. You know how first dates can be, some fellas like to get touchy and others turn into strange psychos or serial killers. So the location needed to be fairly open and public. I also needed to alert one or two friends where I was going to be, just in case I made any bogus decisions after just a first date. I didn’t quite get around to doing that so I took a leap of faith that no funny business would happen.

Then there was the issue of the finances. Going on a date is not easy if you and your wallet haven’t been having friendly conversations in a while. It can be quite a task convincing your wallet that the person you are taking out on a date is totally worth it. But once I managed to convince the wallet, the rest was easy. I simply had to know what range I was working with so that if the menu came, I would only order for items within a certain price range. I have never been a fan of unexpected bill surprises. So I knew how much I would spend and carried a little extra, just in case I need some more dessert or slice of cake.

It was going to be a thoroughly extravagant date, I decided.

Love yourselfI told myself, ‘Don’t be shy. Show yourself some love.’ (Photo Source – http://belightliving.com/)

I got there on time, as expected. (Can’t be showing up for a date late). I looked at my outfit, closed my eyes and smelled the cologne, looked at my shoes and decided I was worth a few compliments. So I set aside a few minutes just to get the compliments out the way.

Then the conversation started as the courses of the meal started coming in. And the conversation turned out to be heavenly. You see, when on a date, you need to turn off your mobile phone, or at least deactivate the data so that you give the other person attention. And I did exactly that. I realised that once my phone was not interrupting my conversation, I ended up having fairly deep and intellectual conversations while lacing them up with humourous and delicious subjects here and there. While everything might have been happening inside my head, I felt like the conversation was quite engaging.

By the time I had talked my way through the dinner, I realised that the date was actually going better than I had anticipated. There had been no awkward moments of someone I knew walking up to me and demanding to take the seat next to me or my phone ringing and some random person calling to find out where I was and what I was doing.

Everything was going according to plan.

When the time to pay the bill arrived, quite naturally, the bill was presented to me and no one else. And like the gentleman I am, I did not even try splitting the bill with anyone. I cleared the whole thing by myself! Pretty generous if you ask me.

And after clearing the bill, I left a decent tip for the waitress who seemed bothered that I was looking dapper and was having dinner seemingly all by myself. The entire time she kept looking my way, wondering when my partner would arrive. Only for me later to thank her for serving me and tell her I had a lovely date. She looked fairly puzzled but I promised I would write a blog post and share with her – just so she can understand how awesome the date went.

I was also kind enough to order an Uber to drop me back home. Imagine the courtesy! I pulled out all the stops.

BlogI even said something about it in Instagram and Facebook just to help people understand the nature of this awesome date. 

I know one or two people might be wondering how and why this even happens without my checking into a mental institution for having dissociative personality disorder or what most people call Multiple Personality Disorder. But I would like to think that every once in a while, one should attempt to take oneself out on a date, just to impress no one but oneself.

I am sure if more people do this, there would be more people falling in love with themselves a little more. Then we would have fewer people lamenting why they are single or why they have been turned down by others. Similarly, we will have people discovering certain attributes about themselves that are keeping the flock away or attracting the wrong flock.

Whatever the case, self love is something I recommend very highly.

“If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.” ― Charles Bukowski

Bernard
a.k.a Beewol
The Talkative Rocker
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Baldie. Ailurophile. Social Media Junkie. Blogger. Pluviophile. Fixer. Sober Drunkard.
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One Comment

  1. bosco

    December 18, 2017 at 10:18 am

    sawa ya mapenzi